~Relationships With Anxiety~
Its an easy thing to trick yourself into believing. I am OK..
From being once so bad so chained down with my anxiety the state I currently find myself in would of seemed like the dream I always hoped for whilst I was 14 lying under my bed sheets trying to escape the bullies at school.
If you have been through or someone you know has been through a tough time in their life, even if they seem so much better the problem they had especially if its mental health like anxiety or depression. It doesn't just magically disappear because trust me that would be very lovely if it could just float off away like a balloon.
For me I understand I am better than what I was however, I still struggle on a daily basis. Maybe not as much as I used to because back then I had no strategy to help conquer it but some situations can drive my anxiety wild as if it were like it used to be.
For me when it was at its worst I didn't just want to say "I cope with it" I wanted to full on beat it. It ended up wearing me out trying to do this and yet my anxiety still didn't sail off in its little boat.
I couldn't understand why it wouldn't just go. I had finished school and was beginning college. fresh new start where my anxiety would (in my mind) just fade away into a tiny speckle of dust. Wrong.
Nothing changed. I still got picked on and all my anxiety came back again. My one friend I had from school had also gone to the same college just on a different course. I would go and mingle with her group who also included a boy..
I had never had a boyfriend before, probably due to the fact everyone in my year at school had seen the panic attacks, seen me being dragged into school screaming and crying whilst having major anxiety attacks. Appealing? Just the type you wanna take home to mum and dad? No?
That department was a serious. I have no idea kind of area
Fast forward and me and this boy had started dating. Only problem was, I was that weirdo who wouldn't eat anything without having hand sanitiser or a sink and soap first due to the fact I might have germs and then become unwell. (Yes I have a fear of illness yippie)
The first date was great..Until we bought some chocolates. Nothing to wash my hands on and then oh no oh goodness gracious. His hand came up towards my mouth holding a chocolate. HIS HANDS!?
I had to bottle it I had to just eat it and prey to every living being his hands were clean. In those few seconds I chomped down of the chocolate and afterwards oh what a surprise. I was fine.
The date ended and I had tackled a little bit of my anxiety. I felt so awesome, me? having a boyfriend?
As the weeks went on I knew I had to bring up the fact of anxiety. Its difficult when all those years the fact that you had it had put any boy completely off because you were seen as weird.
However when I plucked up the courage to tell him I needn't of worried myself so much. It lifted a great weight off of my shoulders and he was so supportive, understanding and thankful that I had told him.
Over a year later. Still better than ever.
I remember when I was younger my safety net was my Mum and Dad but as I have grown older it seems to be my boyfriend is the one who I find more safety in now. Not to say I'm throwing my parents in the bin. Bye bye! No they're still support haha.
I still struggle with my anxiety but there are things that ease it. It also doesn't have to stop you from finding love. It doesn't make you weird. You just have to find the right time to tell your partner. If they don't understand it talking it through will help. Telling them ways they can help you to calm down if you ever have a panic attack or what triggers them will help to.
I remember when I was trying to pluck up the courage I googled for a blog that had a post similar to this and it helped a lot so that's what I aim to do. I hope this has helped anyone and they're are many other posts on anxiety here too so don't be afraid to have a nosey!
Many more posts to come on the topic too. 8+ years of it gives me lots of tales haha. See you all soon!
Charlotte,
From being once so bad so chained down with my anxiety the state I currently find myself in would of seemed like the dream I always hoped for whilst I was 14 lying under my bed sheets trying to escape the bullies at school.
If you have been through or someone you know has been through a tough time in their life, even if they seem so much better the problem they had especially if its mental health like anxiety or depression. It doesn't just magically disappear because trust me that would be very lovely if it could just float off away like a balloon.
For me I understand I am better than what I was however, I still struggle on a daily basis. Maybe not as much as I used to because back then I had no strategy to help conquer it but some situations can drive my anxiety wild as if it were like it used to be.
For me when it was at its worst I didn't just want to say "I cope with it" I wanted to full on beat it. It ended up wearing me out trying to do this and yet my anxiety still didn't sail off in its little boat.
I couldn't understand why it wouldn't just go. I had finished school and was beginning college. fresh new start where my anxiety would (in my mind) just fade away into a tiny speckle of dust. Wrong.
Nothing changed. I still got picked on and all my anxiety came back again. My one friend I had from school had also gone to the same college just on a different course. I would go and mingle with her group who also included a boy..
I had never had a boyfriend before, probably due to the fact everyone in my year at school had seen the panic attacks, seen me being dragged into school screaming and crying whilst having major anxiety attacks. Appealing? Just the type you wanna take home to mum and dad? No?
That department was a serious. I have no idea kind of area
Fast forward and me and this boy had started dating. Only problem was, I was that weirdo who wouldn't eat anything without having hand sanitiser or a sink and soap first due to the fact I might have germs and then become unwell. (Yes I have a fear of illness yippie)
The first date was great..Until we bought some chocolates. Nothing to wash my hands on and then oh no oh goodness gracious. His hand came up towards my mouth holding a chocolate. HIS HANDS!?
I had to bottle it I had to just eat it and prey to every living being his hands were clean. In those few seconds I chomped down of the chocolate and afterwards oh what a surprise. I was fine.
The date ended and I had tackled a little bit of my anxiety. I felt so awesome, me? having a boyfriend?
As the weeks went on I knew I had to bring up the fact of anxiety. Its difficult when all those years the fact that you had it had put any boy completely off because you were seen as weird.
However when I plucked up the courage to tell him I needn't of worried myself so much. It lifted a great weight off of my shoulders and he was so supportive, understanding and thankful that I had told him.
Over a year later. Still better than ever.
I remember when I was younger my safety net was my Mum and Dad but as I have grown older it seems to be my boyfriend is the one who I find more safety in now. Not to say I'm throwing my parents in the bin. Bye bye! No they're still support haha.
I still struggle with my anxiety but there are things that ease it. It also doesn't have to stop you from finding love. It doesn't make you weird. You just have to find the right time to tell your partner. If they don't understand it talking it through will help. Telling them ways they can help you to calm down if you ever have a panic attack or what triggers them will help to.
I remember when I was trying to pluck up the courage I googled for a blog that had a post similar to this and it helped a lot so that's what I aim to do. I hope this has helped anyone and they're are many other posts on anxiety here too so don't be afraid to have a nosey!
Many more posts to come on the topic too. 8+ years of it gives me lots of tales haha. See you all soon!
Charlotte,
Comments
Post a Comment